We've been so busy.
Busy enough that we woke up one morning and realized we had barely talked in days. Realized that if something didn't change, we would wake up one morning and not know each other. Wake up one morning and discover our son was asking for the car keys, and last thing we remembered he was a tiny baby.
I don't know what the final straw was. Realizing we barely knew each other anymore? Joshua taking his first controlled, unassisted steps--walking across the living room--at day care? Josh throwing temper tantrums after not seeing either parent for 24 hours and often much longer? His first birthday?
Or just plan weariness?
So we finally talked. Decided--okay, I demanded--that Josh needs a parent primarily at home, a decision we've made before that never lasted due to either financial pressures or work insisting on scheduling me more hours a week than I wanted. It can't be Rob right now; his company's baseline hours a week is 57 and he has picked up a side construction job for a few months. Plus the extra overtime that gets mandated constantly.
So it's me.
Besides that, we realized we needed goals. We needed to get control of our finances, there is no reason we have so little left over at the end of the month when our combined income is, well, closer to six figures than to five. There is no reason we keep forgetting to pay bills--or we don't forget, but we're not home long enough to write checks.
We also needed time together as a family. Not just as a family, but we need to remember we live in a community, and not be so isolated and fractured.
We've made these decisions before. They never last. These decisions don't work well with our lifestyle, and we have no idea how to change a lifestyle. So we decided, instead of making decisions, to just make goals to work towards.
Goals such as:
- To be debt free, excepting mortgage and student loan payments(combined: $1000 a month), by the end of the year(completely doable, thanks to not using credit cards).
- To invite a family over once a week, or twice a month in the busy summer months, so we can reconnect with people and feel like we have friends. I especially want to invite over those who may not get invitations that often.
- To go away for a weekend in June and August, and plan for a long, three week vacation in the Carolinas and Virginia come winter.
- For me to finish nursing school.
- To find a church we're comfortable in and attend it on a somewhat regular basis(not really holding my breath on this one)
- To take Josh out of day care(a decision that made me cry, since I am firmly convinced of the academic and social benefits of day care) and put that money towards paying off the jeep and fixing up the house.
It's a start.
Not a great start, but a start.