Wedding plans

Nobody ever told me that getting married was such a ridiculous amount of work. I thought I had cut down on the work by:
a) getting married privately beforehand
b) not having attendants, and

c) having a wedding planner/consultant/whatever they are do everything.

No, I still have to figure out favors and wedding programs(at this point, I will pay whatever price necessary to not have to do them myself) and then review and finalize the wedding guest list, then print, address, and mail invitations. Good God. Apparently people who get married don't have jobs and a house and a kitten coming in the weeks leading up to the wedding.

On top of all this, I have been on SoluMedrol and Prednisone almost non stop the last few months, and this has resulted in a very stubborn 10 pound weight gain since Rob and I were married. I am dreading trying on my wedding dress, because I have a strong suspicion it's not going to fit. Then, guess what, if Mom can't alter it, I get to go buy another wedding dress to fit my ridiculous 5'4", 140-pound frame.

So I am trying to google wedding favors. Someone had suggested making CDs and giving them out; but that has started to seem like more time and energy than I have. I am thinking of buying and printing monogrammed labels for candy bars and giving them away. Chocolate can never be a bad thing, and it seems like something fairly easy to do. However, most monograms seem to be the couples' last name initial in large letters with their names on either side. Since Rob and I don't have the same last name, I can't figure out how to develop a monogram.
As far as wedding programs, I like the idea of fans. The only problem here is I don't have time to assemble them, and it's almost $300 to buy them already assembled.

Also, I need to figure out how to address the invitations in such a way that it's clear no children are invited. It's not that I don't like children, but I am planning a very adult reception that would not be appropriate. Nursing infants are one thing, but children under 18 are not. But I don't know how to politely word the invitation that way. Sigh...more googling.

But as far as the rest of it, it's pretty simple. We'll be remarried at Hill Top Inn in Elmira on July 25th. The wedding itself will be outside, and the reception immediately following. We have the photogrpaher, videographer, and DJ all booked and ready to go. The colors are black and red, the cake is cheesecake and brownies arranged artistically by the Hill Top staff. I do no decorating, arranging, styling, or other trivial reception things that I don't have time for. Our wedding is crammed between two very busy weeks in Schuyler County, weeks that are going to bring me a lot of overtime, but leave me little wedding planning time.

My mom is going to sing a song, Sharon and Julia will do readings. There is no unity candle, as I hate the symbolism. I love Rob and love being married to him, but we lead seperate lives. Also, my mother and my father will walk me down the aisle, and the usual "Who gives this bride away?" question will be eliminated. No one is giving me away. I chose to marry Robbie of my own free will, and I had the blessing of my parents, my siblings, my boss, and all of Schuyler County emergency services.

Other than that, I can guarantee you I will never marry again. This wedding business is too hard.