Today, I marry my best friend...
97-year-old Great-grandma gettin' it down
Rob and I at the sweetheart table
Sara with the groomsmen...too many firemen in one place! 
reception
outside patio
Rob and I during the ceremony
So wedding planning continues. I have my readings picked out; unusual, non traditional readings that say exactly what I want about love. About how it is hard. About how it is work, and about how being in love and true love are different things. Readings about what is left when the being in love part dissolves into learning to live with someone who leaves glasses of milk sitting around and doesn't pick up his socks. About how you cease to be the girlfriend your husband fell for and instead become someone who refuses to clean out the cat litter box and gets mad when he doesn't let you know he'll be late coming home from work.
I think, though, this is the part of marriage that I like. The summer nights that last forever when Rob knows I want ice cream without me even saying it. Waking up and feeling his foot on mine. The inside jokes no one else gets; when Robbie and Jason harass me all the way back from Rochester. How he knows which vein on my arms is perfect for IV access and exactly how I want my sub made. I like the part where my coworkers can call my husband and tell him I just ran a bad call, and when I get home, he is there.
I never believed in soul mates, I never believed in halves of a whole, but without Rob, I am truly only half of what I can be with him.
Last night in the quiet
when our day was through
I listened to you sleeping
and stayed awake by you
and softly, through the evening,
there I spoke your name
And told you all the feelings
I've had
I sometimes see you sitting
by the window
Or laughing with the children
At the little things you saw
And lately I've been wondering
If it's all I can do
To hold you and show you
I do
My promise is forever
With you
And lately I've been wondering
If it's all I can do
My promise is forever
I do
I ran a call this morning. A 2 car MVC with multiple injuries.
I can't give details. I wouldn't do that, anyway. I can say it was the hardest call I have ever been on, and I have been on suicides, fatal motorcycle accidents, overdoses and abused children. This, by far, for a variety of reasons, was the hardest one ever.
I came home and called Robbie. Told him how much I love him. How I promise to always kiss him goodbye(his alarm didn't go off this morning, and he ran out without kissing me). And to never take him or our life together for granted. Apologized for sometimes doing that.
Told him, again, how very much I love him.
And to please come home safe tonight.
I finished the vows. I wanted to change them a little, but until today, wasn't sure exactly how I wanted them.
What do you think?
I, Sara, still choose you, Robert, as my best friend, my love, my partner in all things. I am delighted today, in the presence of these witnesses, to again promise you my faithfulness, my devotion, and my care. I promise to love you in good times and in bad, when love is easy and when love is hard; when I need you, but you have to leave because someone else needs your help even more. I promise to always kiss you goodbye, and never let a day end without telling you how much I love you, knowing that tomorrow is promised to no one. I pledge you all these things, my friendship, my support, and my love, until death alone parts us.
The living room and bookshelves still need to be done, but that will happen tomorrow, and everything will be sorted through. 
But my biggest achievement of the day is picking up the two new additions to our tiny family.
Today was my day off.
I went into work at 1700 anyway. Not that I minded; I offered to pick up some of my sister's hours so she could go home and spend time with her husband and baby. My husband was playing softball, so I figured I could address wedding invitations up while at work as well as I could do it at the house.
This week I work Sunday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday.
It is very lonely sometimes. My husband puts in more hours than I do between work and school, but our schedules are often opposite. It's an occasion in this house when we actually get to spend a night together. I have been trying to see Night at The Museum 2 for three weeks now, but every time I try to make plans with either Rob or someone else, I wind up at work. Rob keeps telling me I can say no, but I can't. We need the money. The wedding is I-won't-tell-you-how-much over budget, but it's a lot. And my car failed inspection, with a six hundred dollar price tag to fix it. On the way home today, something burned up in it. Rob says we're not going to bother fixing it; we'll just buy a truck. And that means spending more money.
And that means I need to work 70 hours.
I'm tired. Medical bills have piled up. Things that should have been covered by insurance have been denied, and trying to find the time to deal with that is impossible. I forgot to pay my two credit cards last month(time just goes so quickly), and now they keep calling me. I'll pay them Thursday, but for now I just ignore the phone calls. And a wedding. And a new car. Fortunately, we both have decent jobs. Two incomes goes a long way, and everything gets paid.
But I am still lonely. Work has invaded every part of my life, I think sometimes. I keep saying I should take up hobbies, but it's hard to find something that interests me. Rob keeps telling me to write down a list of things I would like to do, but all I come back to is work.
I think work is an addiction for me. And I think more sleep would be beneficial...but not this week, or month, or summer.
And the cycle begins again.
Nobody ever told me that getting married was such a ridiculous amount of work. I thought I had cut down on the work by:
a) getting married privately beforehand
b) not having attendants, and
