Friday, December 20, 2013

Letter to Santa Claus

Dear Santa Claus,

It's been a while. Remember me?  Sara? American Girl doll Samantha circa 1993 that I never got?

But I digress.

I am now much, much older than I was in 1993.  In fact I am now in my 30s, if you haven't been keeping track.  I am Joshua's Mommy--I am sure you are familiar with Joshua, as he moves between your naughty and nice list on a moment by moment basis. In fact, I am sure you have an Elf dedicated specifically to keeping track of which list Josh is currently on.  And I am also Olivia's mommy, but she is only eighteen months old and a fixture on your nice list, unless she is stealing her brother's toys.

And I haven't written you a letter in a very long time, but I have a list this year, if you would be so kind.

#1)  I would like a bath.  Complete with bubbles, candles, and no children trying to strip their clothes off and climb in with me, all the while asking why we can't eat hot dogs in the bathroom.

#2)  I would like to go five minutes without someone asking me why or throwing a two hour long temper tantrum when I say no, we cannot build a snow bank and jump off the porch roof into it.

#3) I would love eight hours of uninterrupted sleep.  Between working overnights as a paramedic and the fact that my daughter still does not sleep through the night, I am about to lose my sanity to sleep deprivation.  If you can't accomplish this, could you at least make my children nap at the same time?

#4) Peace on Earth.  If this isn't doable, I will accept Peace in the Playroom.

#5) Could you make my wi-fi magically disappear whenever I start looking at all the pictures on facebook of all the neat and amazing crafts and games my friends are doing with their toddlers?  And remind me that their husbands don't work three or four 24 hour shifts a week, and most of them are stay-at-home moms with a little more breathing room than I have?

#6) Speaking of magic, is there anyway to make chicken fries into a well rounded, highly nutritive meal, since that is all my 3-year-old will eat these days?

And last but not least,

#7) On days like today, when my children are literally climbing the walls(and the furniture, and the stairs, and me), and cutting their hair with stolen scissors, and trying to run around naked; days like this when my children are perpetual motion and noise filled with dirt, could you make me always remember how extraordinarily blessed I am?  That these two beautiful, healthy, energetic children are mine, and I am so very fortunate to have them?  Remind me that the peanut butter sticky hands pressed onto my face are my treasure, and whenever I start to take them for granted, remind me that these two tiny faces are not going to be mine forever.  Remind me to take today, with the chaos and the mess and the sleep-deprivation and all, and enjoy every moment with them.  These babies are mine today, but they are not promised to me forever.

Remind me, Santa Claus, to enjoy every moment of this Christmas season this year, with two children who believe wholeheartedly in you, who are so excited with the magic of this Christmas.  Remind me to stop and enjoy these moments, because even though these days of toddlerhood are so long, the years will be so short.

Thank you.


p.s.  Please remember to eat the cookies and milk we will be setting out Christmas Eve. My son will be brokenhearted if you don't.

Saturday, January 12, 2013

Things I have learned as a Mom

( I switched to Wordpress for a while, but it just doesn't seem to work well for me. So I'm back)

Here are some random things I have learned in my vast seven months as the mother of two small children:

 Toys are the fastest breeding creatures in the world. Much faster than rabbits. You can box up twenty toys and take them out to the trash or to the second hand shop, and when you come back home, there will be forty new toys sitting in your living room.

Playrooms are worthless. You will still step on matchbox cars littering your bedroom floor, you will still find crayons in the refrigerator, and you will still not have a clean living room. All you will have is another messy room in your house. If you're lucky, the playroom will have a door that you can close.

Your two-year-old will be perfectly happy, healthy, bouncing off the walls, and the moment you get him wrangled into a clean outfit and wash his face to go somewhere, he will immediately come down with the flu and start vomiting everywhere.

If your first child slept through the night at six weeks and never once woke up after that, your second child will not sleep through the night until high school.

The intensity of the temper tantrum is directly proportional to the length of your grocery list. The longer the grocery list, the louder the tantrum.

The earlier you have to be at work in the morning, the more often your children will wake up during the night.

No matter how sick you are, no matter how tired you are, no matter how recently you have had major surgery, you will not get a nap. Do not even consider it.

It doesn't matter that your toddler has insisted for the last three weeks that all he can possibly ever eat is peanut butter and jelly, the day that is all you have in the house for lunch he will decide he can only eat hot dogs.

No matter how crazy they drive you, at the end of the day, they really are the cutest, most wonderful kids ever.