Saturday, October 16, 2010

Wounded



It's been a hard week.

I've been hurt.

Deeply. And felt trampled on. Someone who I thought was a close friend has turned out not to be. Someone who I thought had my back turned out to be trashing me, up and down, behind my back.

And it hurts.


I don't have a lot of friends. I work in a male-dominated profession, and we're still trying to find a church we're comfortable with, and even though my husband keeps telling me to go do activities, I can't explain to him that I can't find anything profitable. I've found that moms groups and things of that nature seem to be turn into nothing more than husband bashing sessions. I adore my husband, and I don't have much to criticize him for. And, honestly, I have too much respect for Rob to sit around and publicly talk about the ways he fails(and he respects me enough to not air all the ways I fail, either). I don't like them.


But it leaves me with no one to really talk to about this. To say that I'm hurt and wounded. To try to sort out what I did wrong(and, honestly, it was probably nothing; this person thinks that by trashing me it makes him look good, and it isn't only me he's suddenly turned against). Sometimes we all just need a shoulder to cry on, but right now, I wish so much that I had a really good friend to just go out to lunch with, and play with the baby, or sit on my futon and watch a movie and have a cup of hot chocolate.


But it will be okay. I suspect I'm no different than most young moms who struggle with changing roles and ideas and opinions. And I have a beautiful, beautiful baby boy, and a husband who adores me and wants nothing but the best for me. There is so much love in my home, and I am so glad that I have this to come back to when the rest of the world seemes against me.

3 comments:

Life More Simply said...

Dumb people are bittersweet. They keep us employed...but you can't just leave them behind when they work at the same place you do. :-(

*hugs*

Trina said...

I have to do the same thing when something hurts me - focus on the good that God has given me, and try not to let the nasty stuff affect the love and peacefulness of our little home.

September said...

Hang in there Sara. Times like this are the hardest... I have found that there are a lot of circumstances that may seem,, or actually are unjust or unfair. The most peace I found was in knowing that although my name may be used in a negative way... I trust the Lord to even it all out in the end.
I guess finding a true friend is a life long process,, and will not be discovered until we get to Heaven.
Hang in there...Mommyhood has its ups and downs... but .. all in all... that is what we are taking with us to glory... right?
Love to you.