Saturday, April 11, 2009

hard to write

I wrote thank you notes today from the wedding.
I had to call my mom to see what I should write. How do you put the sending address? I didn't change my name upon marriage, though I use his socially(like, on my facebook), it isn't legally changed and I have not used it. My theory was that I have had a wonderful 27 years as myself, and I saw no need to change anything upon marriage.

I eventually compromised with Rob G---- and Sara M----. It was just long and cumbersome, and I am not entirely certain most of the people I sent these thank yous to know that I didn't change my name. I am also not sure what some of them would think of it, and then I remembered that I don't care. I hold 3 degrees and two professional licenses under my name, and if all goes well, in another year, a master's degree as well. What other people think has no bearing on the way I live my life.

Tomorrow is Easter. My family stopped celebrating it years ago; my mother opting for the Jewish passover celebration instead. I never really celebrated either; Jewish traditions hold little meaning for me, Christian holidays even less.(Jewish holidays at least have their basis in something historical, Christian holiday roots lie in myths) I plan to sleep in and do dishes and get ready for a 6-day 12 hour shifts workweek. And laundry. I need to do laundry.

So...this is my life. I work two jobs. Miss having friends. My husband just got a new job and his shifts are opposite mine, so I won't see him(but I love having time alone, so it doesn't matter). And it's hard to write. Even for someone with a degree in writing, it's hard to write.


Trina said...

I'm still learning to be myself without worrying about what everybody thinks. It's hard. But it's worth it for the freedom that comes when you're simply trying to please God (your God, not other's version of him...)