Baby dust

We have decided to go back on Clomid this summer with hopes of conceiving another child.  The first medication I was on to hopefully decrease my insulin levels and reverse the effects of polycystic ovary syndrome on my body sent me into liver failure and landed me in the hospital for three days, and nobody is entirely certain the Clomid will work without it. 
But we will try.  This will most likely be my last biological child; while we have not and will not use birth control, we feel that this is our last go around with fertility treatments due to the side effects.

I will have another c-section.  I had an elective c-section with Joshua--and loved it.  Yes, I loved my caesarean.  When the doctor first presented it to me as an option, I was completely against it, but after a lot of research I truly feel that c-sections are the safest route of childbirth for the baby.   And then when my condition changed and my doctor no longer felt that there was a medical need for a caesarean, we strongly felt we should go ahead with it, even though it meant I would never have a vaginal birth(our local hospital does not have 24/7 anesthesia, and thus is not allowed by NYS to offer VBACS).   I've never been sorry I did; the cord was wrapped around Josh's neck several times, and he was pressed in such an awkward way that shoulder dystocia would have been a real possibility had I given birth naturally. 

What I never expected was how much this decision would fan the mommy wars.  I never realized how many women are rabidly natural childbirth and would never consider giving birth in a hospital, and find someone who would choose a medically unnecessary c-section to be an affront to them.   I don't understand this, for I think that if you are going to advocate the right of women to choose their own birth experience, it can't be just the experience you would choose.  No, you may not choose to have a medically unnecessary c-section, but I would never choose to have a home birth.  And yet, while I believe home births are dangerous and unwise, and have actually treated someone who died because she gave birth at home, I am not going to argue that the right should be taken away.  I may argue that the laws should be more stringent; that lay midwives should be prosecuted, that all women see an OB/GYN to screen for complications, and that all babies should be evaluated by a pediatrician within 24 hours, and that women who live more than ten minutes away from a hospital should be required to give birth in a birthing center, but at the end of the day, women have the right to do whatever they want with their own bodies.

Including me.

So, hopefully, come next April or May, I will have another scheduled c-section.  I know this will be my last, barring a miracle, so this time around I hope to savor every moment of the baby experience.