Learning

I'm learning.

That my family does not look like everyone else's family, and that's okay.  Everyone else doesn't have a husband who works the hours or the shifts that mine does.  Everyone else doesn't have a wife who tries to juggle housework and a fifty hour a week job too(yes. I know I was working part time, and then we had some personnel shuffling and I have to fill in more hours for a few weeks.).  So if right now, we don't go to church, or have people over, or do anything but spend our few precious hours together as a family before we have to go back to work for another twenty four hours, that's okay.

That this is not the time in my life where I can get too concerned about what we're eating.  If it's hamburgers out of the freezer and baked beans out of a can, that's okay.  If I'm picking subs up from Subway on our day off because I'm in the middle of errands, that's okay.  If it's Hamburger Helper, nobody will die, and eating out a few times a week isn't going to break our budget, or even really affect it.  My son is going to grow up just fine on premade baby food and formula powder out of the can.  I don't have the time or the stress level to cook from scratch, and that's okay. 

That sometimes it's okay to not be able to do it all.  I haven't scrubbed the bathroom in two weeks or cleaned out the fridge in three.  We're about to start turning a bedroom into a bathroom upstairs, and we can't seem to find time to tear out the walls and hang sheetrock.  That's okay.  Again, our budget isn't affected much by having to hire someone to come in and clean my house once a week, or tear out the bedroom upstairs and help hang sheetrock.  In our stage of life, time is a precious, precious commodity, and we choose to spend what we can together, and not stressing over the little stuff.

I know I keep saying that we don't have time.  We don't...can I give you our schedule just this weekend?

Thursday night: Rob goes into work at 5 pm, Sara goes into work at 7 pm, and Josh goes to Grandma's house for the night.
Friday:  Rob is at work until 5pm, Sara is at work until 4:30 pm and Grandma takes Josh to day care.

Friday evening: Sara picks up Josh at day care, goes back to work for a new employee orientation scheduled at 5:15, Rob picks up chicken and macaroni salad at Tops and then comes over to pick up Josh.

Friday night: Josh gets sick, vomits everywhere.  Clean up all of that, throw laundry in the washer, cuddle Josh, change six messy diapers because Josh has diarrhea, Josh vomits again, clean up again.
Saturday morning: Sara has to be to work at 7 am, Rob takes Josh to Grandma's and has to be to work at 8 am.  Sara gets done with work at 7 pm, picks up Josh from Grandma's, and goes home.  Rob is at work until 8 am the next day.

Sunday morning:  Sara gets up, dresses Josh, takes Josh to Grandma's, has to be at work by 9 am.  Rob leaves job #1 at 8 am, if he gets out on time, then comes and relieves Sara at work and works the rest of the shift until 4:30 pm.  Sara goes home and cleans the house and goes grocery shopping until Grandma gets home from church and brings Josh home. 
Sunday evening: Family gets to be together.

Monday: Sara has to be at work at 7 am.  Rob gets Josh around and takes Josh to day care. Rob works on upstairs bedroom until he has to leave for work at 4 pm.  Grandma picks up Josh at day care at 5 pm. Sara picks up Josh from Grandma's around 8 pm, goes home and both Sara and Josh go to bed.

Tuesday: Sara dresses Josh, takes Josh to Grandma's, has to be in Rochester at 11 am, gets home around 4 pm, picks Josh up, goes home and tries to decide what to make for dinner.  Will probably order pizza, and have Rob pick it up on the way home from work, which will be around 6 pm.

Wednesday: Rob has to be at work at 7 am.  Sara and Josh plan to stay home and actually get some stuff done today.  Rob doesn't get off work until Thursday morning at 7.

This is a typical schedule.

So if right now, we eat out a lot, and I have to hire someone to clean my bathrooms and mop the floors, that's what I have to do.  Time is too precious, and we have so little of it together.  Even when my job slows down, which will happen in two or three weeks, Rob's never will.  I need to guard our time together, and not spend it cleaning or cooking elaborate meals.  And, hopefully, I won't feel guilty at all about that.