Letter to my baby

My dear, sweet little baby...

You've been around for eleven weeks now, which makes me fourteen weeks pregnant. You've managed to do some amazing things in those eleven weeks, like grow big enough that your daddy and I know you're there. Last night you curled up into a ball on my left side, and there was just enough of you that we could see you sticking out. And then the fire tones went off, and like you usually do, you flipped and flopped and rolled over till you were all stretched out. Your daddy can feel you, just barely, since you're still so small, and he thinks poking my belly to feel you move away is the greatest thing, ever. We can't feel you, exactly, just the hard spots you make, but we can feel that hard spot as it moves from side to side.

Your daddy just got a new job that pays almost $20,000 a year more than what he was making, and he only works two 24/hour shifts a week. This is wonderful, because your mommy right now is still too sick, and always exhausted, to think about working more than on call when she can. There's enough paperwork to keep me busy for a year, but somedays, I can barely get off the couch. This job has better benefits, too, and you and I can go spend afternoons with your daddy when he's at work and have dinner with him. Your daddy and I have decided that for the first year of your life, I will probably not work much. I will take one class a semester towards my RN degree, but for your first year, little one, it's going to be you and me. While I had never expected to be anything close to a stay-at-home mom, I suspect I will need lots of naps for a while, and not needing to worry about work. I can still pick up shifts when I want, especially when your daddy's home, but mostly, it's just not something I have to worry about for a while. We are very thankful for your daddy's new job.

Well, little Joshua or Olivia, it is late, and the only reason your mommy is still awake is because someone had chest pains, and she and your daddy went on the call. You bounced up and down when the tones went off, like you usually do, and then quieted as we talked to the patient. But now your mommy is very, very tired, and she has a paper due, and needs to go crawl in bed next to your daddy and fall asleep. And he will kiss you goodnight and tell you that he loves you, and, hopefully, you will fall asleep quickly inside me, nice and warm and safe, and know, in your tiny unborn baby way, that you are so very much loved.

Momma