I do

So wedding planning continues. I have my readings picked out; unusual, non traditional readings that say exactly what I want about love. About how it is hard. About how it is work, and about how being in love and true love are different things. Readings about what is left when the being in love part dissolves into learning to live with someone who leaves glasses of milk sitting around and doesn't pick up his socks. About how you cease to be the girlfriend your husband fell for and instead become someone who refuses to clean out the cat litter box and gets mad when he doesn't let you know he'll be late coming home from work.

I think, though, this is the part of marriage that I like. The summer nights that last forever when Rob knows I want ice cream without me even saying it. Waking up and feeling his foot on mine. The inside jokes no one else gets; when Robbie and Jason harass me all the way back from Rochester. How he knows which vein on my arms is perfect for IV access and exactly how I want my sub made. I like the part where my coworkers can call my husband and tell him I just ran a bad call, and when I get home, he is there.

I never believed in soul mates, I never believed in halves of a whole, but without Rob, I am truly only half of what I can be with him.

Last night in the quiet
when our day was through
I listened to you sleeping
and stayed awake by you
and softly, through the evening,
there I spoke your name
And told you all the feelings
I've had

I sometimes see you sitting
by the window
Or laughing with the children
At the little things you saw
And lately I've been wondering
If it's all I can do
To hold you and show you
I do

My promise is forever
With you

And lately I've been wondering
If it's all I can do
My promise is forever
I do